tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90152271130429732602012-02-16T10:57:58.349-08:00America's Authoritative source for fake news since 2008The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.comBlogger571100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-83814090632336301472009-04-14T18:40:00.000-07:002009-04-14T19:50:13.172-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">CNN Senior Political Analyst Gloria Borger reported today that Republican twits have no credibility.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In her article detailing President Obama's calm and professional leadership in the face of the Somali pirate standoff, she called possible 2012 presidential contender, serial divorcer and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich a twit for publicizing his opinion that "Obama is making a major mistake in not forcefully outlining the rules of civilization for dealing with pirates. We look weak."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Her article starkly contrasted Obama's professional demeanor and leadership with former President Bush's desperate attempts to be accepted as part of the military.  The clear implication was that by speaking without thinking, Gingrich was showing that he would lead more like Bush than Obama.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/04/14/borger.republicans/index.html">Continue to the story here</a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-8381409063233630147?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-36122483135148823352009-04-11T11:36:00.000-07:002009-04-12T11:22:47.841-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Just because they named their latest single "Football is Our Religion" does not mean that the Swedish techno-country band Rednex are actually rednecks.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The band has turned down a request from the National Football League to change their name to the Pansies.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">NFL sent a letter to Mary Joe (Annika Ljungberg) acknowledging that its request, at first blush, might appear "bizarre", but became necessary when NFL officials learned that the song was actually about soccer and not "real football."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">But, by changing its name, the band could raise awareness of the lack of manly sports that Europeans must endure, the NFL said in its letter.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The trio, which was founded in 1994 and has since undergone many changes in its lineup, reproduced the NFL's letter in full on its <a href="http://www.myspace.com/therednex">MySpace</a> page.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The musicians said they were "unable to agree" to the request "but we appreciate the publicity that this request provides."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The NFL said that is was pleased the Rednex had drawn attention to the issue by posting the request so prominently on the band's <a href="http://www.myspace.com/therednex">MySpace</a> page.  "I just put 'Cotton-Eyed Joe' on my iPod to celebrate," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/10/peta.pet.shop.boys/index.html">Inspired by</a></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-3612248313514882335?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-67684552169688485682009-04-02T20:08:00.000-07:002009-04-02T21:00:41.888-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Prime Minister Gordon Brown said there was "no quick fix" for the world economy but there was a commitment to do whatever was necessary.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"This is the day that the world came together to fight back against Dr. Evil, not with words or deeds, but with buckets of cash," said Mr. Brown.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The deal was announced shortly before the European stock markets closed and gave leading </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">indices a significant boost.  Unfortunately, investors quickly realized that Dr. Evil was only likely to invest in industries that would uphold the ethical standards of an evil empire and the markets tumbled.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">On behalf of the G20, Mr. Brown announced the following steps:</span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bankers pay and bonuses will be subject to stricter controls unless the banker object</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A new Financial Stability Board will be set up to work with the IMF to provide an early panic mechanism for the financial system</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A common approach to hiding banks' toxic assets from public view</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The worlds poorest countries will receive sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads</span></li></ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A small group of protestors gathered earlier at the London Stock Exchange, but later dispersed when rumors that Starbucks was offering free Grande Soy Carmel Macchiatos to the first 50 protestors.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7979483.stm">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-6768455216968848568?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-42106823067836266512009-03-27T22:54:00.000-07:002009-03-27T23:19:58.112-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">President Barack Obama fielded questions on jobs, legalization of marijuana, the auto industry, legalization of marijuana, universal health care, legalization of marijuana, mortgages, legalization of marijuana, the economic crisis, and legalization of marijuana as he kicked off a first-of-its-kind Internet era Town Hall at the White House.  Obama said job creation in America is difficult in a time of economic hardship, but was essential so that he could land a high-paying job after he left the presidency.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Look. I didn't fight a tough campaign for the presidency just so I could end up earning minimum wage asking people if they want fries with that," said Obama.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Before the meeting got under way, the White House had gotten over 100,000 online questions, of which 95,000 were about legalization of marijuana. Nonetheless, Obama refused to commit to making the legalization of marijuana a cornerstone of his economic recovery plan.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"We need our economic stimulus to get people on their feet and growing the economy not sitting on the couch, eating Doritos and watching a South Park marathon," said Obama.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/story/968525.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4210682306783626651?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-27065149900629410402009-03-18T20:55:00.000-07:002009-03-18T21:38:06.931-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez underwent arthroscopic surgery Monday to repair his damaged reputation and remove the media spotlight that has been shining upon him for the last few weeks.  </span><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Rodriguez has been caught up in a media frenzy spanning rumors of an affair with Madonna to revelations of illegal steroid use. "The surgery went exactly as we planned," said Dr. Baron Munchausen, who performed the 80-minute procedure in Vail, Colorado. "There is no doubt in our minds that this was the best option for Alex and for the Yankees."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Hospital staff, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that the surgery was much more complicated than claimed. "It isn't easy to remove the media spotlight from that large of an ego," said a hospital orderly who assisted with the surgery.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Earlier attempts to repair Rodriguez's reputation by means of a half-hearted public apology were disastrous and nearly cost Rodriguez a number of endorsement contracts.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Rodriguez's and his ego are expected to make a full recovery.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/al/yankees/2009-03-09-arod-surgery_N.htm">Inspired by</a>  </span><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2706514990062941040?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-40769679900342042672009-02-23T18:32:00.000-08:002009-02-23T18:52:23.182-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Utah Senate stopped working for about two hours Monday as Republicans privately met to make comments that gay people don't have morals and that gay activists are among America's greatest threats.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Republican Sen. Chris Buttars of West Jordan said that gay people don't have any morals and he compared gay activists to radical Muslims, saying they're one of America's greatest threats.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Sen. Greg Bell said Monday he disagrees with at least one of Buttar's comments. "I think I could say that, to a person, everyone in our caucus supports traditional marriage. Many of us, however, feel that the tenor, the examples, some of the phrasing that Sen. Buttars used in his controversial comments, were intolerant and immoderate," Bell said. "I've met some perfectly fine Muslims."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"It was a venting process, in my judgement, and that's why it took the time it took," said Sen. Pete Knudson. "I think that's a healthy part of this whole situation, is that no one is being told what to think, no one is being told how to think, but they had their opportunity to express their disgust with gays, the gay lifestyle and the gay agenda and I think that was very, very good for the caucus."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29356472/">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4076967990034204267?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-56347070408072339642009-02-02T19:21:00.000-08:002009-02-02T19:32:47.524-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Senator John McCain says there's too much stimulus in the Obama administration's economic proposals to stimulate the economy.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Arizona Republican and former presidential candidate also complains that the plan was too aggressive and should be scaled back just enough to allow the 2012 GOP nominee to attack Obama for not doing enough to restore the economy.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Interviewed Monday on CBS's "The Early Show," McCain said that after the economy recovers the U.S. should "be on a path to a republican administration."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Instead, he says, the Democrats' plan would burden future generations of Americans with economic prosperity.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">He says it's time for both parties to sit down and negotiate. He says the Democrats need to cave into his party's demands for more tax cuts for the wealthy.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/story/883923.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-5634707040807233964?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-23901577661796902602009-01-30T20:10:00.000-08:002009-01-30T20:51:16.251-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Michael Steele, the former lieutenant governor of Maryland, was elected the chairman of the Republican National Committee on Friday as the party chose its first African-American scapegoat.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The election took six drawn-out ballots before they found their patsy.  President Bush's hand-picked incumbent chairman, Mike Duncan, showed strong early support as many members sought to continue to blame Bush for every bad thing that has happened to the party.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Obviously, the R.N.C. blows," Mr. Duncan said.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Momentum shifted to Mr. Steele, when Ken Blackwell, the former Ohio secretary of state who was single-handedly responsible for manipulating the 2004 Presidential election in favor of Bush, endorsed Mr. Steele. "I endorsed Mr. Steele because of his strong conservative values and record of leadership," said Mr. Blackwell. "Also, regardless of whether the Republicans or Democrats win the next election, we'll be able to blame a black man."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Chip Saltsman of Tennessee had been gaining support on the popularity of his racist parody song entitled, "Barack the Magic Negro." However, he was forced to drop out of the race on the eve of the election when his ballot qualifications apparently "disappeared."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/31/us/politics/31web-steele.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2390157766179690260?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-74700798258987881842009-01-27T19:23:00.000-08:002009-01-27T19:58:06.435-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blowfish testicles prepared by an unauthorized chef sickened seven diners in northern Japan, reported the Associated Press on Tuesday morning, causing millions of print and on-line readers to fall ill.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blowfish, while extremely poisonous if not prepared properly, is considered a delicacy in Japan and is consumed by thrill-seeking gourmets. Conversely, there are few, if any, people who read news as a means of thrill-seeking.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Within minutes of publishing the story, hospitals across the U.S. were overrun with patients with complaints ranging from a general nausea to projectile vomiting.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A 68-year-old reader remained hospitalized in critical condition with dehydration after hurling repeatedly.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"It's scary. If you open a decent-looking newspaper or a reputable web site, you would assume that they have editors that screen stuff like that," said Gretchen Hurlburt. "Blowfish testicles? I could have lived a long, happy life not knowing that anyone would eat blowfish testicles. That's just ... ewww!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The blowfish testicle article is the most nauseating news story to hit newsstands since 2004 when three million people fell ill and thousands vowed never to drink coffee again as a result of an Associated Press article on <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2004-01-20-civet-coffee_x.htm">Kopi Luwak</a> or Civet Coffee. Kopi Luwak is made from coffee beans that have been eaten and passed, whole, through the digestive tract of a civet cat and reportedly has a distinct odor and flavor.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Ewww!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28874327/">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-7470079825898788184?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-45133728330743357572009-01-26T21:16:00.000-08:002009-01-26T22:00:03.693-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">As Governor Rod Blagojevich's impeachment trial got underway Monday, the embattled governor hit the media circuit to make a public appeal to save his job.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blagojevich appeared on ABC's "Good Morning America" and "The View" as well as CNN's "Larry King Live."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blagojevich revealed for the first time his short list of potential candidates, including: Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jackson and Mr. Ed. "Oprah and Michael Jackson are filthy stinking rich, but we had to rule out Mr. Ed because he's a horse. Also he's dead," said Blagojevich on "The View."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blagojevich also said he looks forward to the day when he can sell his story in full, so that people do not judge him solely by the profanity-laced recordings of bribery demands that have been released to the public.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I'm not (bleeping) guilty of any (bleeping) criminal wrongdoing," Blagojevich told Larry King. "I'm (bleeping) entitled to a (bleeping) presumption of (bleeping) innocence."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Asked on "Larry King Live" about his foul mouth, Blagojevich said, "Had I know that someone was (bleeping) listening, I wouldn't have used that (bleeping) language.  For those who might have been offended, I (bleeping) apologize. Again, I didn't know you were (bleeping) listening."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">In a statement released late on Monday, Blagojevich expressed his hope that Larry King director Randy Douthit would have a speedy recovery from the repetitive stress injury he experienced during Blagojevich's appearance on "Larry King Live."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/26/blagojevich.tv/index.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4513372833074335757?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-43885558056923844072009-01-23T18:41:00.000-08:002009-01-23T19:30:01.977-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">If you thought being governor of Alaska and a new grandmother would be enough to fill the cold, dark nights of the Arctic State, you'd overestimate Sarah Palin, the failed vice presidential candidate.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">In addition to galavanting around the nation speaking to every reporter who is willing to speak with her, and more than a few who'd really rather not, Palin has reportedly enlisted the services of Washington lawyer Robert Barnett to help her shop for a book.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Sources close to Palin could not explain why she would need the support of a lawyer to purchase a book or even why she might want to actually read a book. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">One unnamed source reportedly said that Palin had very specific criteria for the type of book she wanted including: </span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">All the good characters had to be evangelical Christains</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">All the bad characters had to be Muslims, minorities or socialists</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The bad characters had to realize the error of their ways and covert to Christianity, turn caucasian and become free market supporters</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Extra-marital sex was completely </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">unacceptable, unless it was performed by minors who became pregnant and chose to keep the baby, and then it had to be "pure"</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Violence was OK as long as it was perpetrated on Muslims, minorities or socialists</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Not one of the books available in the Wasilla public library</span></li></ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Palin has been trying to stay in the spotlight, presumably with an eye on 2012, and having read a book could help give her the credibility that she lacked in 2008.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-palin23-2009jan23,0,1399366.story">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4388555805692384407?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-36414363095528204142009-01-21T18:46:00.000-08:002009-01-21T19:55:51.679-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">President Obama took the oath of office -- again -- on Wednesday, out of what a White House lawyer described as "an abundance of concern that no one was paying attention the first time."</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The record crowd of 1.8 million people and more than 50 million people watching on television were lulled into a glassy-eyed stupor by the John Williams composition that was performed between the Vice Presidential and Presidential oaths.  The composition was performed by famed musicians Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Gabriela Montero and Anthony McGill. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A review of the video of the inauguration shows that the record crowd was strangely silent during Obama's oath of office and did not respond until cannons fired the 21-gun salute.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"We believe that the oath of office was administered effectively and the president was sworn in appropriately yesterday. But the oath appears in the Constitution itself and we believe that it needs to be witnessed. Out of an abundance of concern that no one was paying attention, Chief Justice Roberts administered the oath a second time," said White House Counsel Greg Craig in a statement issued early Wednesday night.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Obama was visibly perturbed that so many millions of people could have missed such a critical event.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"Are you ready to take the Oath?" Roberts asked.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I was ready yesterday. Are you ready?" Obama replied.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The private swearing-in ceremony took 25 seconds according to White House pool reporters who witnessed the event.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"> <a href="http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2009/01/21/obama_takes_his_oath_of_office.html?hpid=topnews">Inspired by</a></span></span><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-3641436309552820414?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-36915584824331309172009-01-20T20:10:00.000-08:002009-01-20T21:13:26.031-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Fiat executives awoke Wednesday to discover that they had apparently bought 35% of Chrysler Corporation.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Chrysler CEO Robert Nardelli told stakeholders in a letter that this groundbreaking agreement would provide Chrysler with access to Fiat's line of popular, stylish and fuel-efficient vehicles and would bolster their case for receiving an additional $3 billion in federal bailout loans from the U.S. Treasury.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne was somewhat vague about the agreement. "All I remember is that Robert and I went to a, how do you say, gentlemen's club in Detroit. Bouzouki Club, I think. Next thing I know, I am waking up feeling sticky and hung over with a copy of a signed contract tucked into my underwear," said Marchionne. "Apparently, I own 35% of Chrysler and I have the right to increase my share to 55%. Why would I want to do that?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Chrysler had reportedly been negotiating with a variety of potential partners, including GM and Nissan. Chrysler had not been successful in any of those merger attempts. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Sources close to the negotiations said that Fiat met with Chrysler hoping to secure a deal comparable to the one that they negotiated with GM. In that deal, GM paid Fiat $2 billion to not merge with them.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Cal Barbee, of Barbee Chrysler Dodge Jeep in Medina, Ohio said the blending of the product lines would help both sides. "Long as we re-name them Chryslers, I have no problem selling them Fiats on our showroom floor," said Barbee. "Plus we've got a couple hundred minivans and SUVs we can send to Rome or wherever tomorrow."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/20/AR2009012000472_2.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-3691558482433130917?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-53085449867651041402009-01-20T19:50:00.000-08:002009-01-20T20:09:13.474-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Vice President Dick Cheney pulled a muscle in his back while moving on Tuesday and has decided to just "stay put" White House press secretary Dana Perino said.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Cheney was reportedly moving the person-sized safe that is rumored to hold Cheney's personal records as well as millions of "lost" White House emails when he injured his back.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">His doctor recommended that he remain in a wheelchair and also hire someone to move his things for him.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Cheney, however, had other plans. "The Vice President is looking forward to remaining in office for four more years," said Perino Tuesday night.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Elizabeth Alexander, spokesperson for Joe Biden said, "He can't do that! He has to leave. Now!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Cheney reportedly extended an olive branch to Biden. "He's invited Vice President Biden to go quail hunting as soon as his back is healed," said Perino.</span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/01/19/us/AP-Cheney-Wheelchair.html?partner=rss&amp;emc=rss">Inspired by</a></span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-5308544986765104140?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-90663804432040634412009-01-17T17:04:00.000-08:002009-01-17T17:38:33.910-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Bankrupt electronics retailer Circuit City Inc. said Friday it will close its remaining 567 U.S. stores and sell all its merchandise.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"We are extremely disappointed by this outcome. They were insolent and so we had to have them liquidated," said Sid Horowitz, who represented Circuit City's main creditors.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">James Marcum, acting CEO for Circuit City said "We were unable to reach an agreement with our creditors and lenders to structure a going-concern transaction in the limited timeframe available."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"See," said Horowitz. "What the f*** does that mean?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Circuit City wasn't a viable business in its business model in which surly customer service was paired with mediocre pricing.  "You need to have a service model that differentiates you from the competition and keeps pace with the changing needs of the consumer," said Chip Watts of the Electronics Consumer Federation, and industry advocacy group. "Unfortunately, Circuit City chose to differentiate themselves by being insolent and driving their remaining customers to low price leaders like Wal-Mart or service leaders like Best Buy."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/16/news/companies/circuit_city/index.htm?postversion=2009011617"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia;">Inspired by</span></a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-9066380443204063441?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-17201283203723109142009-01-15T17:06:00.000-08:002009-01-15T22:16:17.573-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Homeland Security investigators are pursuing early indications that a sleeper cell of Canadian Geese attacked a US Airways jet shortly after taking off.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bush administration officials immediately said that there was no way that anyone could have suspected that geese could cause such damage to an aircraft.  However, since 2000, at least 486 planes have been damaged by so-called bird strikes, according to the records of the Federal Aviation Administration.  In 166 of those cases, the planes were forced to make emergency landings, and 66 led to aborted takeoffs.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Homeland Security officials, who asked not to be named, voiced suspicions that the suicide attack may have been the work of Al Qaeda. The suicide attack seems to fit Al Qaeda's pattern of returning to targets that they have tried to strike without success in the past.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Terrorism expert Dr. Alexander Bode, Executive Director of the Ohio State Homeland Institute of Technology (OSHIT), said that it was possible that the suicide attackers may have been activated by a coded message in the Osama bin Laden's taped audio message that was released Wednesday. "The overt message called on Muslims everywhere to fight Israel in a holy war, but when you play the message backwards at half speed, you can clearly hear Celine Dion's cover of '<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wlCqVAY37E">You Shook Me All Night Long</a>'," said Dr. Bode. "Our research has shown that this song is one of the most effective triggers for launching a suicide attack."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Homeland Security officials have been criticized for their inability to stop Canadian Geese from freely traveling across the border between the U.S. and Canada forcing citizens to resort to vigilante justice to protect their homes from the invading fowl.  Each year some 1.8 million private citizens spend $1.3 billion protecting themselves from waterfowl invasions from Canada, according to statistics from the U.S. Fish &amp; Wildlife Service.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Predator B aircraft have been <a href="http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2008/12/aircraft-deployed-to-protect-us.html">patrolling the skies over North Dakota</a> since early December. However Sen. Charles Schumer, D-NY questioned the Bush administration's decision to deploy the aircraft to North Dakota "instead of somewhere that's actually worth protecting."  Sen. Schumer promised that the matter would be thoroughly investigated. "It would be truly sad if we could not keep our nation safe from Canadian geese," said Schumer.  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/16/nyregion/16strike.html?_r=1&amp;hp">Inspired by</a>   </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-1720128320372310914?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-47531660277272578702009-01-12T18:54:00.000-08:002009-01-12T20:17:31.972-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">In response to President Bush calling for a "compassionate" Republican Party and warning against the GOP becoming "anti-immigrant", GOP leaders told Bush to "mind his own f***ing business."</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"It's very important for our party not to narrow its focus, not to become so inward-looking that we drive people away from a philosophy that is compassionate and decent," the president said in a Fox News interview.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"Who does he think he is? We spend eight years dutifully following him and that Cheney bastard. And it turned out that he led us off a cliff," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-KY. "Forget the damage to the country, it's going to take 20 years to repair the damage he's caused the GOP."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I can't see the GOP picking up a seat or having a significant voice in the legislative process in the foreseeable future," said House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-OH. "Our only hope now is to appeal to the shattered core of the conservative base - the racists, the warmongers and the evangelical nutcases. Let me tell you, there is no room for compassion or decency in that coalition."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/11/AR2009011101332.html">Inspired by</a></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4753166027727257870?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-92195353580969608882009-01-11T11:28:00.000-08:002009-01-11T18:31:49.477-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">An estimated 100 million people watch the Super Bowl each year, many of them to see the ads as much as the game.  </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">And while the big game still maintains its aura of hype and glitz, the economic crisis continues to impact its traditional advertisers. Major advertisers such as FedEx and General Motors have already opted out for this year and others are expected to follow suit.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The lower demand for Super Bowl advertising has dramatically reduced the rates that NBC has been able to charge, thereby allowing some unlikely advertisers to buy in.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">New to this year's Super Bowl advertising roundup are the Mesothelioma Legal Support Institute and the Bedazzler.  NBC has denied reports that Billy Mays is </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">choreographing an interpretive dance based on Mighty Putty for the half-time show.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Many familiar names will also be advertising during this year's Super Bowl, including Coca-Cola, Monster Worldwide, GoDaddy.com and Bridgestone Tires. CareerBuilder had been anticipated to advertise, but a spokesman said that continuing internal restructuring may lead to their withdrawl. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that CareerBuilder was strongly considering changing its name to BarelyGettingBy. NBC refused to comment.<br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"> <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/01/10/MNI71559J9.DTL&amp;type=business&amp;tsp=1">Inspired by</a></span></span><br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-9219535358096960888?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-52026190834063308762009-01-09T19:09:00.000-08:002009-01-09T21:36:18.399-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">President Bush established the largest culinary reserve ever when he designated Italian restaurants in Boston, New York and Philadelphia as national monuments, administration officials said.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The new Marinara Sauce monuments include such famous restaurants as Cantina Italiana in Boston, Cacio E Vino in New York and Dante &amp; Luigi's in Philadelphia.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"These locations are truly among the last pristine restaurants in the culinary environment on Earth," said James Pepperman, head of the adminstration's Council on Culinary Quality.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">However, not everyone is happy with the move.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"We feel the monument is not based on science and is merely a feel-good attempt by the administration to leave some sort of legacy behind," said Fotis Papadopoulos of the Hellenic Culinary Association. Administration officials denied the accusations of culinary bias.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">On the condition of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">anonymity, a white house employee said that the president was "stoned out of his skull and got the munchies. The next thing we know he's screaming at us to create a monument to marinara sauce, of all things."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/environment/2009-01-05-mariana-trench_N.htm">Inspired by</a> </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-5202619083406330876?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-58369506860799976152009-01-08T22:18:00.000-08:002009-01-08T22:45:28.759-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Deal:</span> Round-trip airfare on Virgin America Airlines, two night's accommodations, two included escorts, and all taxes and condom surcharges, from $169 per person.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">When:</span> Through Oct. 31, 2009</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Fine Print:</span> Based on Sunday and Monday departures only; the rates will be slightly higher on other days. Use promo code 3SOME. Based on double occupancy with one escort per night. Single occupancy rates are higher.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Why It's a Deal:</span> Airfare from San Francisco to Las Vegas is likely to cost at least $133. For only $36 more per person, you get serviced by one of Sin City's finest escorts and lodging at the Rock Hard Hotel &amp; Casino.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Before You Go:</span> Transfers are not included; you can catch a shuttle to the Strip for $6 one way. And remember - What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28560062/">Inspired by</a> </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-5836950686079997615?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-58520528811241166832009-01-06T17:43:00.000-08:002009-01-07T18:43:09.787-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Apple CEO, Steven P. Jobs, might face a mission impossible should he win Senate confirmation as the new head of the Central Intelligence Agency, a clandestine government service battered by years of controversy and facing demands for reform.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The reported selection of Jobs, 53, who is CEO of Apple and is Disney's largest shareholder, caused a flurry of head-scratching among former intelligence operatives and policy analysts mainly because Jobs has no real experience in either government or foreign policy.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I was not informed about the selection of Steve Jobs to be the CIA director," said Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-CA, who will chair the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence and Sneakiness in the 111th Congress. "I mean, Steve Jobs? Where the f*** did that come from?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Kind of a mystifying pick, isn't it? There's just no experience there that suggests he has any ... I mean, what the f***? Steve Jobs heading the CIA," said Michael Umbrage. "I mean, you'd like to give the president the benefit of the doubt. And there probably aren't a lot of talented Americans in either party that want to be the head of the CIA. But, Steve Jobs?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Mr. Jobs anticipated some of the criticisms of his selection at his press conference. "The cure for the CIA is to innovate its way out of its current predicament," said Jobs. "Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful ... that's what matters to me."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">When asked about what aspects of high Apple leadership style he intended to bring to the CIA, Job replied, "Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected. We're here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/01/06/MN001542QO.DTL">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-5852052881124116683?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-62687232369231832642008-12-30T17:21:00.000-08:002008-12-30T19:54:52.174-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Governor Rod R. Blagojevich of Illinois said Thursday that he will appoint Roland W. Burris, who was the winning bidder on the governor's eBay auction to fill President-elect Barack Obama's U.S. Senate seat.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The defiant Blagojevich, who is facing impeachment proceedings in the Illinois House as well as federal corruption charges has denied all wrongdoing. "As governor I am required to make this appointment," a self-assured Blagojevich said. "If I don't make this appointment, then I'd have to give back my eBay auction proceeds."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The Senate Democrats released a letter reiterating their view that Mr. Blagojevich "is a special kind of stupid" if he believes that any appointment that he makes will be accepted by the Democratic Caucus.  Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-NV, said, "There is no f---ing way that is going to happen!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/31/us/31illinois.html?_r=1&amp;hp">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-6268723236923183264?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-21656994135430800382008-12-29T19:20:00.000-08:002008-12-29T20:50:28.219-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Republican Party reaction is divided over the decision of a candidate for the party chairman to distribute a CD that features a racially insensitive tune.  </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The majority of Chip Saltsman's political rivals are criticizing the timing of the discs release.  "I am shocked and appalled that Saltsman would use such shameless self-promotion to try to win the GOP chaimanship," said current Republican National Committee Chairman Mike Duncan. "</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I know I laughed until I cried and peed a little bit when I first heard this on Rush," said Michigan GOP chairman Saul Anuzis. "But, still. Anything that paints the GOP as being motivated purely by racism in our criticism of President-elect Obama does a disservice to our party. We're also motivated by the fact that he's a gay-loving, socialist baby-killer."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Republican Party of Florida Chairman Jim Greer - who has also been weighing a run for the party's top spot - released a statement praising Saltsman's critics. "As the GOP Chairman in one of our most ethnically-diverse states, I know how important it is to be as inclusive as possible. A lot of attention has been paid to the 'Barack the Magic Negro' song, but it's important to note that the CD also contained songs offensive to hispanics and the poor. "</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I think most people understand overt racism as a legitimate form of humor," said Saltsman.  "I think most RNC members understand that racially insensitive humor is just good fun."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">But some younger members of the party were less understanding. James Richardson, the RNC's online communication manager for the 2008 election cycle, called Saltsman's move "quite the revealing faux pas."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"Did I just speak French? Dammit! Now I'll never be able to get another job in the GOP," added Richardson.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/29/saltsman.obama.song/index.html">Inspired by</a> </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2165699413543080038?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-43198156183363601342008-12-26T19:22:00.000-08:002008-12-26T20:16:44.806-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A burst dike at a coal-fired power plant in eastern Tennessee spilled "a whole shitload" of ash - more than originally estimated - officials said Friday.  The Tennessee Valley Authority had first estimated that barely a buttload of ash had spilled in the breach.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">TVA spokesman, Richard Head, could not explain the discrepancy. "At this point, we believe that the initial estimate may have been just a wild-ass guess."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">One local resident whose land is covered in 10 feet of ash and debris said he is not drinking the local water and is keeping his children inside until he can send them to a relative's house, "because I don't feel comfortable with them around here."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I don't know what people are getting so </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">pissy</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> about. We're cleaning it up," said Head. "We have almost a hundred workers cleaning up the mess. Also, people should take comfort in knowing that President Bush has ordered the EPA to find that the spill does not pose a health threat to either the local residents or those living downstream."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/12/25/national/a052635S76.DTL">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4319815618336360134?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-42613369513382884782008-12-26T18:58:00.000-08:002008-12-26T20:17:08.712-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A candidate for the Republican National Committee chairmanship said Friday the CD he sent to RNC members as a Christmas gift - which included a song titled "Barack the Magic Negro" - was clearly intended as racism.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I think most people recognize racism when they see it," Tennessee Republican Chip Saltsman said.  "I think RNC members understand that."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The song, set to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon," was first played on racist commentator Rush Limbaugh's radio show in 2007.  Saltsman said the song, penned by his longtime friend Paul Shanklin, should easily be recognized as racism directed at Obama.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Saltsman said, "I think it's important for the chairman of the RNC to fully reflect the core beliefs of the party. This CD proves, beyond a doubt, that I can be as racist and insensitive as anyone in the GOP - except maybe Trent Lott."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/26/rnc.obama.satire/index.html">Inspired by</a>  </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4261336951338288478?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-82969621763774851252008-12-24T17:11:00.000-08:002008-12-24T19:28:26.738-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The presidents of France and Brazil are set to sign several bilateral agreements, including one that would make Brazil the first Latin American nation to acquire France's nuclear-powered snob technology.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Brazil and Argentina are the only Latin American countries with significant nuclear capabilities, however, in offering this technology, France appears to be expressing confidence in Brazil's potential for snobbery. Previously, France had only offered its snob technology to the Canadian province of Quebec.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">France has led the world in snobbery since developing snob technology powered by nuclear energy in the 1950s.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Under the accords to be signed by the two presidents, France would also provide Brazil with haughty attitudes and rudeness monitoring technology.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/12/22/brazi.france.sub/index.html">Inspired by</a> </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-8296962176377485125?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-72535292679207900462008-12-19T20:09:00.000-08:002008-12-19T22:26:09.383-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Attorney General-designate Eric Holder, in written responses to the Senate Judiciary Committee, did not include information about a close association with the tainted Governor Illinois Rod Blagojevich.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">In the wake of gay sex scandals involving Senator Larry Craig and Ted Haggard, the Judiciary Committee added questions regarding instance in which other men may have had an opportunity to see the nominee's penis.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Confidential witnesses to the committee have submitted evidence that Eric Holder and Gov. Blagojevich have occasionally shared adjacent urinals.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"Eric Holder has used the restroom hundreds of times," Obama transition spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter said in a statement. "He did his best to report them all to the comittee, but as he noted in the questionnaire itself, some were undoubtedly missed in the effort to reconstruct a list of them."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/story/818685.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-7253529267920790046?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-15171451002601295392008-12-18T22:18:00.000-08:002008-12-18T22:44:27.061-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Michelle Duggar has, apparently, given birth to her 18th child.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Arkansas supermom delivered the baby girl, apparently, in her sleep.  The baby, named something starting with "J", weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Jim Bob Duggar said Michelle had been having contractions Wednesday night. "We didn't think much of it. After all, Michelle's been having contractions for, what, like 20 years now," he said. "She's the ultimate Christmas gift from God. But, still, it's a little disconcerting to wake up to find a new baby in your bed."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Duggar's have been married for 24 years, but didn't get started bearing children until 20 years ago. They now have 18 children (of which two sets are twins) spanning the ages of 20 years to 1 day. This mean that, since they decided to start spreading their genes, Michelle has been pregnant 3 times more than she has not been pregnant.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Duggars are followers of the evangelical Christian movement called Quiverful, which teaches that children are God's blessing and that husbands and wives should happily welcome every child they are given. After 18 children, the depth of their devotion is as evident as their insanity.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28053565/">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-1517145100260129539?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-22285861954022059162008-12-16T21:52:00.000-08:002008-12-18T21:52:42.293-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A jury heard opening statements in a lawsuit by a man who says San Francisco police broke his wanking arm while he was trying to enjoy a pornographic movie in the comfort of his own home.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The unusual case began when Richard Johnson was chugging 40-ounce beers while watching "Skanky Ho #87" with the volume turned up to eleven, according to witness testimony.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Police were initially called by Johnson's wife, Mildred, who asked "can you send someone to stop my husband? I just can't stand it anymore," according to 911 tapes.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">San Francisco police mounted a massive response with some 69 officers responding to the 911 call.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The first officers to arrive at the Johnson home encountered Mr. Johnson lying naked on his couch watching the movie. As more officers arrived and blocked Mr. Johnson's view of the television, he became irate, screaming "It's my movie! Mine! Go get you're own f---ing porn!" according to arresting officer Rod Peters.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">Officer Peters said, "Suddenly there was this naked man screaming and flailing about. I though he might attack me, try to hurt me. So I yelled 'Take him down now!' Somewhere along the way, his arm was, unfortunately, broken." </span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">Mr. Johnson said he felt his world was coming apart when the officers moved to arrest him. "I felt that all of a sudden the world turned around, there was a revolution," Johnson said. "There was a police state where you couldn't even watch your own porn."</span><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"He was upset," said Johnson's attorney, Harry Wang, outside the court. "But however he acted, that doesn't give them the right to break his arm. He's not an ambi-wanker; he may never be able to pleasure himself again."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">Johnson is suing the San Francisco police for $50,000 for excessive force and $250,000 for loss of the use of his wanking arm.</span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/12/17/BA4K14PCJ2.DTL">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2228586195402205916?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-78444646003669272692008-12-15T21:00:00.000-08:002008-12-15T21:52:13.896-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Buoyed by Proposition 8 result that was strongly supported by the least educated Californians and opposed by the most educated, Republican state lawmakers unveiled a set of proposals today that would cut deeply into education spending.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">The plan is the Republican's first comprehensive proposal since Governor Arnold Schwarznegger called a special legislative session to try to solve the state's Republican voter registration deficit.</span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The GOP plan to cut $15.6 billion in education spending would go far beyond the proposals from the Governor.  The largest chunk, nearly $10 billion, would come out of K-12 education, thus ensuring decades of stupidity in the state. "Clearly we're also going to have to decimate higher education to have an immediate impact, but this will ensure that we have a state full of morons for to foreseeable future," said Senate Minority Leader Dave Cogdill, R-Modesto.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Even if the plan is adopted in whole, the state would likely face declining Republican voter registration for years to come.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/12/15/BA0P14OGGO.DTL&amp;tsp=1">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-7844464600366927269?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-51247025760747587132008-12-13T23:09:00.000-08:002008-12-13T23:55:59.559-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Gov. Sarah Palin's home church was badly damaged by the wrath of God, leading the governor to apologize if the fire was connected to "undeserved negative attention" from her failed vice presidential campaign.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Damage to the Wasilla Bible Church was estimated at $1 million.  Only a handful of people were inside at the time of the smiting, but everyone escaped without injury.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Members of the Wasilla Bible Church gathered in prayer Saturday to understand God's will in damaging the church. "It's hard to say at this point. Everything is just speculation," said one worshiper, who asked not to be named out of fear of divine retribution. "We have no information on God's intent or motive."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Authorities could only speculate as to the cause of the fire. "It might have been lightning bolts, but we're not sure," said a Central Mat-su Fire District spokesperson. "So far, we have only been able to rule out some of the most common plagues like locust, blood and frogs."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Palin spokesman, Bill McAllister, said in a statement that Palin had told an assistant pastor she was sorry if the smiting was in any way connected with her very un-christian vice presidential campaign of divisiveness, lies and racism.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28213500/">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-5124702576074758713?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-28158403527050960312008-12-13T11:34:00.000-08:002008-12-13T12:37:25.189-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">If it were up to Jennifer Aniston, the gossip-worthy details of her private life would never make it to print. In an interview promoting her new film "Marley &amp; Me", the actress voiced her growing frustration with the public's interest in all things Aniston.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I think it's ridiculous," she said. "There's just this insatiable need... I mean, I'm out here promoting my new blockbuster movie with Owen Wilson and I have a nude photo spread in next month's <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">GQ</span> magazine and I'm pretty sure I just called Angelina Jolie a dog in <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">USA Today</span>. I am honestly getting sick of it, and I feel like telling people, 'You know what? It's none of your f---ing business.' Seriously, it's enough."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">As for Jolie's past remarks about falling for Brad Pitt on the set of "Mr. &amp; Mrs. Smith", Aniston says, "Considering the source, nothing surprises me."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">When asked if he had heard Aniston's recent comments, Pitt said, "No, but I saw that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">GQ</span> spread. I know I dumped her, but she is really hot. Hey, wait a minute. That's my... Ang gave me that tie!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28116689/">Inspired by</a> <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/popular/ci_11194905">and this</a> <a href="http://men.style.com/gq/features/landing?id=content_7757">and this</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2815840352705096031?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-28131831451705335672008-12-12T23:01:00.000-08:002008-12-13T13:46:18.748-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Since U.S. voters elected Barack Obama last month while also sending dozens of conservative congressmen and senators packing, conservative leaders have appeared on Fox News, raved about Sarah Palin and ranted on talk radio.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">On Wednesday, they were asked to do something different: nothing at all.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Modeled loosely after the 2006 immigration rights demonstrations that the GOP widely ridiculed at the time, "Day Without a GOP" was scheduled for Wednesday and billed as "a chance for those Obama-loving socialists to realize who really runs this country."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Organizers said that they didn't expect all of the McCain/Palin supporters to "call in conservative", but they were hoping for a better response.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Earlier, several evangelical conservatives had said that they had planned to take the day off "if it is God's will."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">"It's organic, it's visceral, it's grass roots and net roots," said Sean Hannity, of Fox News. "People are reacting in a very natural way to having their hard-earned money taken away by a socialist president."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">Some conservatives expressed their confusion about what it meant to be part of the GOP. Roger Davies of Atlanta, Georgia said, "Being a Republican used to mean less government, lower taxes and staying the hell out of people's lives. Now it means big government, irresponsible wars, huge debts, rampant environmental destruction, dictation of morality, and, apparently, hot gay sex. Lots of hot gay sex."</span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/12/09/BAQM14KE03.DTL">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2813183145170533567?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-78937850392113287572008-12-11T20:10:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:30:48.346-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The federal government is warning airlines that flights could face disruptions this winter because of a shortage of the blue chemical used in airplane toilets.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The shortage arose after New York City officials were forced to deploy thousands of portable toilets to Wall Street when the markets went down the crapper.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">So far airlines have been able to maintain their flight schedules by encouraging travelers to use the restroom before boarding the plane and by adopting a policy of "if it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down," said a spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Several airlines have begun to experiment with the use of pay toilets to mixed results. "That seven bucks they charge me for a beer ought to pay for me taking a leak, too," said business traveler Ben </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Whitacker</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In light of the shortages, the FAA rushed the approval of toilet chemicals manufactured by three different companies. "The airlines have a number of options to make up the difference," said John Bidet, FAA's director of Toilet Safety and Standards.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2008-12-04-runways_N.htm">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-7893785039211328757?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-67393815632793419782008-12-09T20:37:00.000-08:002008-12-10T20:00:31.324-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">Jay Leno, the King of Late Night, will be moving to 10 p.m. NBC officials announced Tuesday.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">The news that Leno's talk/variety show would be airing at 10 p.m. Eastern Time - offering his rapidly aging audience a chance to catch his monologue before falling asleep with the television on - caught viewers and television executives by surprise. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I think most people expected Jay to retire and fade into obscurity," said Dave Letterman, whose <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Late Show with David Letterman</span> competes directly with <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Tonight Show</span>, but has the benefit of attracting a younger, hipper audience that likes to stay up past midnight.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">But it raised more questions than it answered. Among them: will anyone watch Conan O'Brien when he takes over the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Tonight Show</span> from Jay? Is NBC shifting to an talk show/reality TV format? Is scripted television dead?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">NBC seems to have put the last question to rest by estimating that the new Jay Leno show will only cost $2 million per week compared to $15 million per week for the dramas that will be replaced.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In establishing Leno's new show, NBC will be able to lock up the much sought-after "blue-hair demographic."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Asked whether CBS would be altering their lineup to counter the NBC move, CBS spokesman Art Manning said, "We have a full complement of CSI shows that are performing quite well, and, frankly, don't require much writing or production. So, if Jay wants to take on David Caruso's Horation Caine, I say, 'Try.' "  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28148378/">Inspired by</a> <br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-6739381563279341978?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-84806019093149234222008-12-08T19:43:00.000-08:002008-12-08T22:51:25.390-08:00<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">At their last meeting, Opa-locka, Florida commissioners approved a decorum resolution defining appropriate behavior at city meetings. The rule faces its first test at this Wednesday's commission meeting.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Opa-locka has a long-standing decorum rule to deal with how residents must behave when addressing the commissioners. For instance, when attempting to bribe a commissioner, residents are required to address the commissioner as 'sir' or 'madam' and are required to say 'please.' The decorum rule also prohibits residents from blackmailing a commissioner more than once with the same photograph of the commissioner with a prostitute.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Commissioner Esther Williams, sponsor of the decorum ordinance, said she was concerned about the lack of propriety on the commission. Williams said, "Just last Thursday, I was called a 'skank' by that rat bastard." Williams refused to identify to which 'rat bastard' she was referring. "He knows who he is," she said. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Among other things, the decorum ordinance will prohibit the use of the words 'skank', 'ho', 'f---er' and 'bitch' during the commission meetings. Also prohibited are such behaviors as making disparaging comments about a fellow commissioner to the press, or urinating in a fellow commissioner's gas tank or the office coffee pot.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The commission acknowledged that they forgot to dictate penalties in the ordinance and expect to correct the oversight in an upcoming meeting. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/news/miami-dade/communities/story/800214.html">Inspired by</a></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-8480601909314923422?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-78558988959719361582008-12-07T19:31:00.000-08:002008-12-07T21:35:41.796-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials have deployed Predator B aircraft to the U.S. northern border to provide early warning against a feared invasion of Canadians.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The drone is scheduled to begin patrolling the northern U.S. border in January. Its flights will originate from the Grand Forks base.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"It is vital to America's security that we protect our borders, particularly the northern border," said Senator Kent Conrad, D-N.D. "The Grand Forks Air Branch plays an essential role in helping shut the door on Canadians who want to sneak across the border to strike on U.S. soil."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Conrad said the state's congressional delegation has been working for four years to establish patrols along the Canadian border. "Although the threat from the Canadian menace has been growing ever since the National Hockey League established the Boston Bruins in 1926," added Conrad.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Fearful that their attempts to dominate American culture would be thwarted by the regional popularity of hockey, Canadians were reportedly sent to infiltrate American popular culture. Some prominent celebrities suspected of being Canadians include William Shatner, Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeves, Pamela Anderson, Shania Twain, Mike Myers, Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morissette and Celine Dion.  Some are also known to speak French.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Fears over a Canadian invasion have grown throughout the Bush presidency. With the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">inauguration of Barack Obama only weeks away, the Bush administration is taking no chances with the Canadian menace.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation/AP/story/803479.html">Inspired by</a>  </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-7855898895971936158?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-65228689032569878352008-12-06T11:17:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:19:15.870-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">As the days dwindle until President Bush joins what Herbert Hoover called the "most exclusive trade union in the world," the unpopular commander in chief appears decidedly enthusiastic about leaving the political limelight.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Early ex-presidents quickly descended into obscurity, but modern ex-presidents commonly embark on a high-profile, and potentially very lucrative, consulting and speaking careers.  While this can be a difficult job for any ex-president, historians and political observers say that it will be especially difficult for Bush. He not only must oversee the construction of a presidential library and write his memoirs, but he must also attempt to salvage his legacy.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bush was forced to struggle with how to define his legacy in favorable terms even before his presidency began.  However, Bush quickly swept aside lingering concerns about having been wrongly declared the winner of the 2000 election by embarking on a series of shockingly destructive initiatives.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bush was quick to point that he doesn't want to be remembered as the guy "who helped Enron pillage California; or who appointed an incompetent fool to head FEMA; or who eliminated the use of science or facts as the basis for making decisions; or who left a generation of children behind in their education; or who initiated and mismanaged a long, very expensive and ill-advised war; or who accumulated a record national debt; or who nearly destroyed the world economy."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Those things are all so negative. I want to be remembered as the president who did positive things like reducing taxes for thousands of wealthy Americans and liberating Iraq from tyranny," Bush said.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bush is reported to be contemplating a post-presidential path similar to that of Jimmy Carter, except for the parts about helping to ensure free and fair democratic elections and helping to construct low cost homes, which Bush described as "a lot of hard work."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bush was non-committal about the prospects for his presidential library.  "One thing's for sure, it won't have that damn <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Pet Goat</span> book," Bush said. Sources close to the president say that he is planning to create a "Bush Freedom Institute" that will seek to reduce taxes on wealthy citizens of many nations and also impose democracy on nations whose citizenry is unprepared to receive it.  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bush is also said to be considering soliciting speakers fees from governments and companies in exchange for guarantees that he will not give speeches to them. "People just want Bush to go away. I think we can leverage that desire with the president's interest in not doing very much actual work to get rich," said an aide who asked not to be named.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/05/bush.post.presidency/index.html?iref=mpstoryview">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-6522868903256987835?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-28334661383809023352008-12-05T17:42:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:16:00.108-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A jury convicted pop singer Boy George of falsely impersonating a female on Friday.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The iconic '80s singer, whose real name is George O'Dowd, admitted to applying girly makeup, plucking his eyebrows and adopting many female mannerisms, but denied </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">tattooing his shaven head and generally looking like a creepy old dude.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Jurors were shown photos and videos which the prosecutors said had been inflicted by O'Dowd. The singer denied that he was responsible.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">This was not the singer's first brush with the law.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Two years ago O'Dowd was able to plea </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">bargain a cocaine possession charge down to filing a false police report. O'Dowd was given the relatively harsh penalty of sweeping New York City streets because he reported didn't know that cocaine possession was illegal for celebrities.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">More recently, O'Dowd was again in trouble with the law for<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"> allegedly tying up a male escort and forcing him to sing <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Do You Really Want to Hurt Me</span>. The judge warned that some jail time was probable.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2008-12-05-boy-george-verdict_N.htm">Inspired by</a>   </span></span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2833466138380902335?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-45651873589050903382008-12-03T17:46:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:16:00.109-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The United States economy officially sank into a recession last December according to the National Bureau of Flipping Obvious.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">NBFO Chief Economist, Dr. Paul Pable compared the current economic downturn to postwar recessions, which have averaged nearly 11 months. "The absence of amelioration in current economic indicators suggests the possibility that the current recession may exceed the mean postwar recession duration," he said. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">As if to add an exclamation point to Dr. Pable's announcement, or to emphasize its shocking cluelessness, Wall Street's benchmark Dow Jones industrial average plummeted nearly 8 percent.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Both Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke and Treasury secretary Henry Paulson pledged to use all the tools at their disposal to restore the economy. Mr. Bernanke said that it was "theoretically feasible" to reduce the Fed's benchmark overnight lending rate below its current target of 1 percent. "Although we've been giving away billions for months with no apparent effect," added Mr. Paulson before curling into a fetal position and crying.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Suddenly, it doesn't seem like such a great idea to base our entire economy on having banks lend money they don't have to people who have no means of repaying it," said Mr. Bernanke.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/02/business/economy/02econ.html?_r=1&amp;hp">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4565187358905090338?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-59697615760249383382008-12-02T19:40:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:17:01.315-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">When Raji Ramnani learned recently that a simple genetic test might be able to determine which technology field will suit the talents of her 2-year old son Sanjay, she instantly said, Where can I get it and who cares what it costs?</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I could see how some people might think the test would pigeonhole your child into doing search optimization, xml coding or chip design, but I think it's good to match them with the right activity," Ms. Ramnani, 28, said as she watched a toddler web design class struggle to perform a Google pagerank calculation in between afternoon snack and nap time.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I think it would prevent a lot of parental frustration," she said. "Why should I be spending $1,000 each week to send Sanjay to a web design pre-school if he's going to grow up to design tera-scale processing chips?" </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In tech-conscious Mountain View, California, 23andYou has been optimizing tests for variations in the ventral patterning factor Sonic Hedgehog that coordinates the growth of telencephalic subregions which has been shown to correlate strongly to preference of technology careers.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Some experts say that Sonic Hedgehog testing is in its infancy and virtually useless.  Dr. Thadeus Nadwadny, the director of the Fresno Institute of Technology's interdepartmental gene therapy program, called it "an opportunity to sell new versions of snake oil."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A 23andYou spokesperson said that they were developing an entire suite of genetic testing for early identification of sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies and dickheads.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/30/sports/30genetics.html?scp=1&amp;sq=sports%20gene%20testing&amp;st=cse">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-5969761576024938338?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-20252432317805854372008-12-01T17:38:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:19:02.902-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The Alaska governor and former Republican vice-presidential nominee is back on the campaign trail, teaming up with Senator Saxby Chambliss in the state's Senatorial runoff election. "I'm just so pleased and honored that Saxby asked me to join his campaign and so you have to be committed to the mission, this mission that we're on, reform of this country and victory in the war Iraq and so I didn't blink then even when he asked me to campaign with him," said Palin.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Chambliss is the freshman Republican senator from Georgia who narrowly edged Democrat Jim Martin, but Georgia law requires 50 percent plus one.  A third party candidate denied Chambliss the outright victory forcing the runoff election.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">When asked to describe her role in the runoff election, Palin said "That's a great question.  Piper asked me the same question just this morning.  As vice senator, my role will be to be Saxby's teammate and partner in the senate, so if we want, I can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will benefit you and your family and all the Joe six-packs and hockey moms out there in this great nation of ours."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"[Palin has] got to go back to Alaska," said Ed Rollins, a GOP strategist.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Sixty-seven percent of Republican and Republican-leaning voters said that they would like to see the Alaska governor make a bid for the next GOP presidential nomination.  Meanwhile, ninety-three percent of Democratic and Democratic-leaning voters and one hundred percent of late-night television hosts said that they would like to see the Alaska governor make a bid for the GOP presidential nomination.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"What's the difference between Sarah Palin and a train wreck?" asked Daily Show host Jon Stewart. "Lipstick!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 all rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/01/palin.campaign/index.html">Inspired by</a></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2025243231780585437?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-63946751040850180432008-11-29T10:22:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:17:01.316-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The Energizer Bunny and Energizer Holdings, Inc. have agreed to end their endorsement deal after 20 years at the end of the year, the hare and the major battery manufacturer announced Monday.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The decision comes as U.S. battery manufacturers face significant uncertainty with retail sales of annoying electronic toys in rapid decline and while frustration with Bunny's endorsement of Duracell batteries in Europe and Australia has been on the rise.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The endorsement contract, reported to pay Bunny $7 million a year, was due to expire at the end of 2008.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bunny has been featured in advertisements of Energizer Batteries throughout North America, recently saving the eastern U.S. when a power plant fails after an unfortunate coffee-spilling accident. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Energizer Holdings officials were reported to be frustrated with the popularity of Bunny's more risque Duracell commercials in Europe. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I am very proud of the long standing partnership I've had with Energizer Holdings and have enjoyed being part of the company's dramatic product evolution.  We've had a lot of fun together," Bunny said in a statement.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Bunny has been a great friend to Energizer Holdings and a fantastic asset through the years," said an Energizer spokesperson.  "The timing of this decision and those other activities is purely coincidental."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://sports.inquirer.net/breakingnews/breakingnews/view/20081125-174218/Tiger-Woods-GM-to-end-sponsor-deal">Inspired by</a> <br /></span><div> </div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-6394675104085018043?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-89734409010617054402008-11-27T21:07:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:25:30.390-08:00<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Thanksgiving went pretty well, at least until the geysering started.  </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I know what you're thinking, geysers are not a traditional part of the thanksgiving celebration. This is true even in San Francisco where all manner of non-traditional activities are woven into the fabric of society. Because, really, when you're staring at a geyser, it's a little difficult to think of things to be thankful for. It's true that the geysers in Yellowstone are awe-inspiring. Although, I have to admit that Old Faithful was somewhat less awe-inspiring than I had been built up in my mind. But I am quite certain that while gazing at Old Faithful I was not overcome with a wave of thankfulness. </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So, as I watched the geyser I found it difficult to think of things to be thankful for. Particularly when the geyser is your house that you moved into less than a week previous. I suppose I might be thankful that the geyser is in the kitchen and not in the bathroom. And I suppose I might be thankful that the geysering started after dinner and not before. But really, a geyser is not the type of sight that inspires thoughts of thankfulness.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I guess that I would be thankful that I was able to clean all of the dishes before the geysering started. The roasting pan for the turkey. The pot for mashed potatoes. The vegetable steamer and sauté pan for the glazed carrots. The food processor for the cranberry dressing. The pan for the gravy. Not to mention the serving dishes for each and our various plates and utensils. Unfortunately, the geysering started just as the dishwasher was full of dirty dishes and every horizontal surface in the kitchen was stacked with the flotsam leftover from our tradition of over-doing thanksgiving.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">As I stood in front of the kitchen sink watching a geyser rise up from the bowels of our new home, I was not feeling thankful. However, in retrospect I find many things to be thankful for. I am thankful that the geyser was not so tall as to hit the ceiling. I'm thankful that the geyser was not so wide as to spray out of the sink. I'm thankful that the geyser was of sufficiently short duration that the sink was able to hold all of its contents. I'm also thankful for paper plates, plastic utensils and Chinese take-out.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">As to whether we'll keep the thanksgiving geyser as part of our tradition, I'll have to wait until next year to say for sure. But I'll be thankful if it's not.</span></span></span><!--EndFragment--><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2003 All Rights Reserved</span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-8973440901061705440?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-18766935922609701212008-11-27T12:22:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:17:01.316-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">This week's move by the Treasury and Federal Reserve to inject another $800 billion into the financial opens yet another chapter in the government's continually evolving response to the financial crisis.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Add one more acronym to the alphabet soup of financial rescue programs: zero interest loans can't hurt, or ZILCH.  But ZILCH is not just another bailout program.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">ZILCH represents a major shift in the Fed's monetary policy along with an effort to streamline governmental efficiency. The central bank has run out of room to lower interest rates, and banks are just hoarding the cash that they've already received from the Treasury.  So the Fed is bypassing the banking system entirely and pumping cash directly into the New York City sewer system to try to revive economic growth.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">So far it is hard to tell whether it is working.  Apparently, the cash gets so soggy and nasty that local merchants are reluctant to accept it as payment.  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"There are bound to be some unanticipated consequences of any program that we implement. We are economic experts, not plumbers.  Does anyone really understand what happens when ...  The point is that we have to keep trying until we find something that works. Right now, we have ZILCH, if ZILCH doesn't work, we'll try something else," said Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27912025/">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-1876693592260970121?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-10222420724803363752008-11-26T22:38:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:17:01.317-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">GM, Ford and Chrysler are still showing off their newest vehicles at the Fresno Auto Show, but their new car displays are overshadowed by massive displays of their used vehicles as well as an amazing array of new models and concepts from the Asian and European companies that are eager to take a portion of the U.S. market share.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Casting a shadow on the annual event's glitz was the presence of Bernie McClowsky of Bernie's Gently Used Cars on North Abby Street.  McClowsky was doing his best to sell off his inventory of crappy American iron, but most attendees of the show seemed to be repulsed by his pallid visage and aura of cigarette smoke and cheap cologne.  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Normally, GM, Ford and Chrysler would have had a stronger presence at the show, unveiling their latest lame attempts to keep up with the rapidly moving market preferences by introducing even larger and less fuel-efficient SUVs and trucks.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Quite frankly, I applaud them," said Al Castignetti, a Nissan vice president. "They are in survival mode, and if I were in survival mode I'd do the same damn thing, except that pre-owned Nissans don't suck like that Pontiac Aztek over there."  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"The auto show gave us some some flak, 'You should do an unveiling' they said," Chrysler spokesman Scott Brown said. "Why?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">BMW's MINI brand started the show a day early by showing off an all-electric version of its incredibly cool cars.  More than 10,000 people have already inquired about leasing one of the 450 test cars that will hit the road in California, New York and New Jersey next year.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://searchchicago.suntimes.com/autos/news/1291635,AP112108_LA-auto-show.article">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-1022242072480336375?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-48557213463954428832008-11-25T19:54:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:17:01.317-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Troubled singer Amy Winehouse has been admitted to a London hospital after suffering a bad reaction to drugs, her representative said Tuesday.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"We're pretty sure it was a combination of heroin, cocaine, crystal meth and ecstasy," Winehouse spokesman Chris Goodman said.  Goodman said the rumors of marijuana, vodka, and Tylenol PM were "dirty, filthy lies."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Witnesses called the Winehouse reaction "the most spectacular celebrity drug incident since Richard Pryor burst into flames and ran down the streets of Northridge California."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The Grammy-winning Winehouse has suffered a string of "health problems" including: spending the year 2005 drinking, using drugs, suffering violent mood swings and losing weight; her 2006 free fall into addiction; her hospitalization in 2007 for an overdose of heroin, ecstasy, cocaine, ketamine and alcohol; in 2008, she was diagnosed with emphysema and irregular heartbeat that were the result of chain smoking (cigarettes!) and crack cocaine use. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In 2008, Winehouse spent two weeks in rehab, apparently in conflict with her hit single "Rehab", and has since been covered nearly head-to-toe with nicotine patches.  "The doctors said it was important to gradually wean her off of nicotine," said Goodman.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/25/amy.winehouse.hospital/index.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-4855721346395442883?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-78110846083103377232008-11-24T17:48:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:21:56.982-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Santa Coloma de Gramenet, a gritty working-class town outside Barcelona, has placed a sea of solar panels agop mausoleums at its cemetery, transforming a place of perpetual rest into one buzzing with marauding zombies.  </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Flat, open and sun-drenched land is so scarce in Santa Coloma that the graveyard was just about the only viable spot to move ahead with its solar energy program.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Unfortunately, the power from the 462 panels produces enough power to reanimate five to seven zombies per day - equivalent to the energy consumed by 60 homes.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"We were intending to pay tribute to our ancestors, not reanimate them with clean energy," said Esteve Serret, director of Conste-Live Energy, a Spanish company the operates the Santa Coloma cemetery, develops renewable energy and is now offering zombie eradication services.</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">At first, parking solar panels on coffins was a tough sell, "Let's say we heard things like 'they're crazy. Who do they think they are? The dead will rise and try to eat our brains!' " said Antoni Fogue, a city council member.  "We thought it was all nonsense," Fogue added.</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The eco-zombies seem to be drawn to organic brains leading the local government to recommend that locals eat only unhealthy foods until the zombies can be rounded up.  "They might be the walking undead, but that doesn't mean they can't hustle when you're trying to whack their heads off," said Serret.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27873308/">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-7811084608310337723?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-69710808686923626052008-11-23T11:48:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:19:52.736-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">As the United States writhes in a collapsing economy, analysts and observers are wondering: Who's skippering the ship?</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">President Bush, who has been noticeably absent from the machinations aimed at righting the nation's financial course, said "The American people elected that Obama guy, like, almost a month ago and we still haven't seen any clear leadership from him."  When reporters reminded the President of Obama's statement that the United States has only one government and one president at a time, Bush replied "That's not what Dick Cheney told me."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bush further indicated that the only solution to the current economic was to reduce taxes on the wealthy and to reduce regulation on businesses.  "That's what got us into this mess and that's what will get us out", said Bush.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Meanwhile, jobless numbers are skyrocketing the stock market is plummeting and the banking industry continues to decline, outpaced only by the fall of the U.S. auto industry.  Obama said recently that neglecting to provide relief to the auto industry would be disastrous, but he has done nothing to break a deadlocked Congress of which he is no longer a member.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Said President Bush, "Obama cannot escape this responsibility forever.  The American people deserve better leadership than this."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-6971080868692362605?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-11252484997257844012008-11-22T23:11:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:20:07.037-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The Bush administration is finalizing changes to the Endangered Species Act that would ensure that federal agencies would not have to take facts into account when assessing risks to imperiled plants and animals.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The main purpose of the new regulation is to replace the provision of the Endangered Species Act that requires independent scientific review by either the US Fish and Wildlife Service or the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration with a dart board in Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne's office.  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The original version of the proposed regulation that utilized a flip of a coin to determine whether an endangered species lived or died was deemed to protect species too often.  Secretary Kempthorne said "No matter how hard I tried, that coin would come up heads almost half the time."  The new proposed regulation makes it much easier to discount the needs of threatened species because the portion of the dart board that would determined that a species might need protection can be made very small.  "Also, I can't throw a dart worth a crap" said Secretary Kempthorne.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Interior Department spokewoman Tina Kreisher said the administration is close to issuing a final rule but is still reviewing the language for potential changes such as what it means when Secretary Kempthorne misses the dart board or when the dart bounces off. "With a matter as sensitive as this, we want to be sure to capture all of the possible outcomes," said Kreisher.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/20/AR2008112003465.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-1125248499725784401?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-14467462329056912872008-11-21T21:35:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:20:32.844-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div>Hillary Rodham Clinton has decided to give up her Senate seat to become a secretary in the Obama White House, confidants said Friday.  </div><div><br /></div><div>The accord between the two leading figures of the Democratic Party is the culmination of Clinton's decline from frontrunner to rival to endorser to assistant.  President-elect Barack Obama and Mrs. Clinton fought a polarizing nomination battle that threatened to divide the Democratic Party, but in recruiting her, Mr. Obama chose to turn a rival into an employee, and she concluded that, dammit, she was determined to get back into the White House somehow.</div><div><br /></div><div>The role, though a supporting one, would make her one of the most influential players at the White House, requiring everyone who wants to meet with the President to negotiate their way past her desk.  It would also make former President Bill Clinton an ad hoc member of the Obama team, possibly in charge of catering.</div><div><br /></div>Supporters of Mrs. Clinton were split on the announcement.  Some were offended that Obama would choose her for such a subordinate role, while others were confident that she would use her position to take control of the White House.  </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/22/us/politics/22obama.html?_r=1&amp;hp">Inspired by</a>   </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-1446746232905691287?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-39312961925200260402008-11-19T18:28:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:22:26.524-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In a joint statement Vice President Dick Cheney and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson yesterday called for a substantial increase in domestic cash exploration and other financial resources, including in environmentally sensitive areas, saying that only increased production - and not new technology - will satisfy the nation's economic crisis.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"We are an economy that runs on cash.  Almost $40 billion of it a day.  That can and will change over time, but it will be a very long time," said Paulson, former head of U.S. financial company Goldman Sachs. "We'd be doing the whole country a favor if more of that cash were produced here at home."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Cheney chided lawmakers for blocking financial companies from extracting investments from environmentally sensitive areas such as the Silicon Valley National Investor Refuge.  SVNIR is the home of the last surviving flock of angel investors that were nearly hunted to extinction during the dot-com boom of 1995-2001.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Robert Reich, professor at U.C. Berkeley's Goldman School of Public Policy and advisor to President-elect Barack Obama, disputed Cheney and Paulson's prescription.  "The only people who would benefit from more cash investment are the financial companies," he said.  Reich said that financial companies already hold millions of mortgages to extract cash from virtually every state in the nation.  "They have an interest in not dramatically expanding financial supply because that will keep interest rates high."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Chamber of Commerce President Tom Donahue said the association is kicking off a $15 million-a-year plan to persuade lawmakers to support cash exploration in SVNIR and money laundering technologies.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Cheney acknowledged the economy is facing "headwinds," including "turmoil in the credit markets" and "a major correction in housing" in addition to rising loan rates.  "The current economic crisis demands that we consider all options for domestic cash exploration."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/11/AR2008061103948.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-3931296192520026040?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-64991479287201154612008-11-16T17:25:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:22:02.049-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A "lost" Rednex track recorded in 1996 and performed just once in public could finally be released according to producer Janne Ericsson.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The track "Tre Apor i Fara", which translates as "Three Monkeys in Peril", is a 3-minute and 42-second experimental track recorded on the heels of Rednex hit "Cotton-Eyed Joe" and widely regarded as the only surviving blend of klezmer and Shibuya-kei that has long been considered too adventurous for mainstream audiences.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In an exclusive E24 interview, Ericsson said that he and fellow producers Orjan Oberg and Pat Reiniz had only just recently agreed that the world was ready to receive their masterpiece. Ericsson confirmed that he still owned the master tapes, adding that he had thought that the tapes were lost, but that he found them in his dresser drawer.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In the twelve years since its recording, "Tre Apor i Fara" has acquired near mythical status amoung Rednex fans who argue that the track provides evidence of the group's ambitions.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The work features distorted violins, discordant accordians and jazz-inspired electropop </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">rhythms interspersed with Scarlet and Dagger's subversive lyrics about monkeys in dangerous circumstances. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/16/beatles.mccartney.lost.track/index.html?iref=mpstoryview">Inspired by</a><br /></span><div><br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-6499147928720115461?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-12473971349805414372008-11-15T09:21:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:17:01.319-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">U.S. customs agents intercepted a shipment of fake Charmin toilet paper that were found hidden behind cartons of Nike shoes in a shipping container.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Specially-trained toilet paper sniffing dogs signaled that the otherwise unremarkable shipping container in the Port of Oakland contained the counterfeit booty.   </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Agents said that the counterfeiting of basic consumer goods has been on the rise lately, but that most of the counterfeits are of very poor quality.  "It's clear that this toilet paper is not squeezably soft" said agent Garcia.  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Last week four area residents were indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of importing counterfeit Bounty paper towels when </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">prosecutors demonstrated that the counterfeit goods "couldn't pick up shit."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/15/BA4H1456VR.DTL&amp;type=printable">Inspired by</a> </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-1247397134980541437?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-89460163290619400842008-11-13T20:35:00.000-08:002008-12-11T21:22:06.446-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Authorities today reported a critical shortage of sperm supplies in fertility clinics throughout Britain.  Nearly two thirds of the seventy-four clinics responding to the surveys indicated that they either had no sperm or insufficient supplies to meet demand.  </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Virtually all clinics have reduced their donor standards, with wankers and the barmy now eligible to donate.  Specialists at some fertility clinics are so desperate to secure supplies of sperm that they have launched campaigns and promotions to attract new donors</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">.  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">One successful promotion involved each donor being spanked by a woman wearing a French maid costume.  Another clinic which suggested that their clients actually have sex with men </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">has been permanently shut down by NHS.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Sexually-repressed nations around the globe have risen to the challenge by offering Britain supplies of excess sperm.  Officials say that they are confident that donations from the US state of Utah are more than sufficient to get through the near-term crisis.  However, clients at many clinics have expressed understandable reluctance to receive such sperm.  Said one client "I wouldn't mind if my child was a wanker or a little barmy, but I wouldn't want them to be conservative."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/5341982.stm">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-8946016329061940084?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-38957102392405440322008-11-13T18:47:00.001-08:002008-12-11T21:20:55.733-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Vice President Dick Cheney was sent to George Washington University Hospital when he began to exhibit symptoms of what doctors referring to as cardiac rhythmia. Doctors were able to restore Cheney's heartbeat to its usual atrial fibrillation by administering a double order of Crispy Chipotle Chicken Crispers. Doctors described the procedure as "Disgusting, but not particularly dangerous to a man of Dick Cheney's health."</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Cardiac rhythmia, also known as sinus rhythm, is a medical condition common to nearly 300 million Americans. "Most people can function normally for their entire lives with this condition." said Dr. Hitesh Gupta.  However, Dr. Gupta noted that Cheney's reaction to such a common rhythmia was "Quite possibly unique in medical history."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Cardiac rhythmia occurs when the heart's upper chambers, called the atria, operate in synch with the lower chambers' pumping action.  The condition is not normally life-threatening and has been associated with episodes of empathy and kindness.  Dr. Gupta noted that, if left untreated, cardiac rhythmia could impair the Vice President's ability to function effectively.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">White House doctors where alerted when Cheney, who had been suffering from a cold, was heard to mutter something about wanting to help "the less fortunate."  White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said "He may have other episodes, but now that we know the warning signs, we can get medical treatment before he causes any significant policy changes."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Cheney has a history of heart problems forcing doctors to attempt to bypass it four times previously.  Upon leaving the hospital, Cheney was heard exclaiming "I have you now!" and "There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you.", so doctors were confident that another bypass attempt would not be necessary.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://wbztv.com/politics/dick.cheney.heart.2.840918.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div><div><br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-3895710239240544032?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-26081345640774589352008-11-13T17:50:00.000-08:002008-12-05T19:35:30.903-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Q1: WTF?</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A1: The Picayune Dispatch is the only news you'll ever need.  Those other "news" sources are too wrapped up in facts and stuff.  Don't even bother with them.  If you think some real news has slipped past our crack team of writers and editors, you're probably wrong.  But you're welcome to ask us about it anyhow.  We can make up a story on almost any subject.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Q2: Dude, why?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A2: The truth needs to come out, even if only by chance.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Q3: Is this for real?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A3: You are really reading this aren't you?  That's good enough for us.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Q4: How often will The Picayune Dispatch be published?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A4: Publish? That's so old school.  Our crack team of writers and editors will be constantly seeking out real news stories that matter and they'll be posted here, like, whenever.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Q5: Do you used real names?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A5: Yes. And real quotes, too. Although, quotes are often taken out of context or modified to fit the story. The Picayune Dispatch is purely fictional, any similarity between stories found here and real events, persons, or places is only to enhance the parody value.</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9015227113042973260-2608134564077458935?l=thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Picayune Dispatchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18275679255709283337noreply@blogger.com0