Bush to Make Marinara Sauce a National Monument

President Bush established the largest culinary reserve ever when he designated Italian restaurants in Boston, New York and Philadelphia as national monuments, administration officials said.

The new Marinara Sauce monuments include such famous restaurants as Cantina Italiana in Boston, Cacio E Vino in New York and Dante & Luigi's in Philadelphia.

"These locations are truly among the last pristine restaurants in the culinary environment on Earth," said James Pepperman, head of the adminstration's Council on Culinary Quality.

However, not everyone is happy with the move.

"We feel the monument is not based on science and is merely a feel-good attempt by the administration to leave some sort of legacy behind," said Fotis Papadopoulos of the Hellenic Culinary Association. Administration officials denied the accusations of culinary bias.

On the condition of anonymity, a white house employee said that the president was "stoned out of his skull and got the munchies. The next thing we know he's screaming at us to create a monument to marinara sauce, of all things."

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