Surgery Expected to Take A-Rod Out of Media Spotlight for 6-9 Weeks

Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez underwent arthroscopic surgery Monday to repair his damaged reputation and remove the media spotlight that has been shining upon him for the last few weeks.  

Rodriguez has been caught up in a media frenzy spanning rumors of an affair with Madonna to revelations of illegal steroid use. "The surgery went exactly as we planned," said Dr. Baron Munchausen, who performed the 80-minute procedure in Vail, Colorado. "There is no doubt in our minds that this was the best option for Alex and for the Yankees."

Hospital staff, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that the surgery was much more complicated than claimed. "It isn't easy to remove the media spotlight from that large of an ego," said a hospital orderly who assisted with the surgery.

Earlier attempts to repair Rodriguez's reputation by means of a half-hearted public apology were disastrous and nearly cost Rodriguez a number of endorsement contracts.

Rodriguez's and his ego are expected to make a full recovery.

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