Utility Estimates "A Whole Shitload" of Ash Spilled

A burst dike at a coal-fired power plant in eastern Tennessee spilled "a whole shitload" of ash - more than originally estimated - officials said Friday.  The Tennessee Valley Authority had first estimated that barely a buttload of ash had spilled in the breach.

TVA spokesman, Richard Head, could not explain the discrepancy. "At this point, we believe that the initial estimate may have been just a wild-ass guess."

One local resident whose land is covered in 10 feet of ash and debris said he is not drinking the local water and is keeping his children inside until he can send them to a relative's house, "because I don't feel comfortable with them around here."

"I don't know what people are getting so pissy about. We're cleaning it up," said Head. "We have almost a hundred workers cleaning up the mess. Also, people should take comfort in knowing that President Bush has ordered the EPA to find that the spill does not pose a health threat to either the local residents or those living downstream."

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